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ABOUT LOVE LETTERS:
When I was 16
an Italian boy wrote me a love letter
I replied telling him that I could not believe
that someone would fall in love so quickly
without knowing a person better.
I never heard back from the Italian boy
(obviously).

Many years later
I heard a voice
behind the door
and I fell in love,
immediately,
with this voice.

I sent him a love letter to Norway
half a year later
because I could not forget
and got one back (!)
half of a love letter
but somehow a promise
of a reunion
he mentioned the word ‘obstacle’
and was very polite.
I never heard back from the Norwegian man
(obviously).  




I. 
Why don’t you wear skirts more often?
You’d actually be a beautiful woman.
 
II.
You’ve obviously decided to stay single
and not have children.

III.
So now it’s only you we still need to marry off.

IV.
Look at this old woman over there:
she shouldn’t wear skirts that short any more,
it looks disgusting.

V.
Oh, I just imagined you and me at a candle light dinner,
you wearing a long, elegant dress with high heels…
well, but I guess one can’t change people.

VI.
You know dear, I was thinking: you’re so much better off than we all are.
No man telling you when to be home, no man telling you what to do.

VII. 
Why don’t you wear mascara more often?
Don’t be so intolerant towards men!
Are you a lesbian?
You are like a block of ice.
Why do you laugh so loudly?
You know who has the nicest boobs at this wedding?
At least you look really cute.
Don’t ask so many questions.
Don’t think so much.
Don’t care so much about other people.
Why are you so angry?

YOU SHOULD BE
MORE EASYGOING.

You know, I am an artist myself
and what I do is (...)


Well, you know it’s always been like that.

My wife rarely sees the doctor but when she does it has to be a male doctor
she says. A real one.



Oh, you know, at the end of the day we’re only women.





about digitally getting to know one another
many years ago
I exchanged emails
with a stranger
he had just seen an image of me
somewhere
and suggested to marry

so we wrote texts back and forth
for a couple of months
and pretended to get acquainted

in the end we never met
still strangers
tangled-up between
representation and perception
of ourselves and each other

The wedding
(or: about the continuation of male idols)

We’re at a wedding today,
wrote my Dad
to me, without further details.

Such a beautiful wedding!
He said
on the phone, the next day.

Whose wedding?
I asked.
The dentist’s,
my father replied.

A real doctor, a dentist.
And his brother, he’s a pharmacist,
he added.





Today I observed a man standing on his balcony
with a basketball in his hands, playing a match
in his mind: only suggesting the movements slightly
without dropping or throwing the ball at all.
I think he won.



PROTEST.
WHAT CAN PROTEST LOOK LIKE?


HOW DO YOU FEEL AFTER A DAY WITHOUT ANY ACHIEVEMENT?


WHEN YOU MEET A PERSON FOR THE FIRST TIME
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR DIFFERENCES OR RATHER
WHAT YOU HAVE IN COMMON WITH THIS PERSON?



Dear men,
can we agree on one thing?
Please explain to me how to do things
(better, correctly, more professionally-
whatever you consider would be good for me)
if I ask only.
Thank you.


DOES UNCERTAINTY BOTHER YOU?

WHAT ABOUT DOING NOTHING?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING WRONG?

TOMORROW WILL BE A GOOD DAY, I PROMISE.

DO YOU FALL IN LOVE EASILY?

ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS?

WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY? 

DO YOU WRITE LOVE LETTERS?

 


THE PERFORMANCE I WISH I HAD DONE

Many years ago my friend who grew up in Namibia told me
that someone invented artificial mud in spray cans: 
If you wanted to tell your friends about the weekend trip to 
the countryside with your 4x4 car, you could always use the
#sprayonmud to prove you’d had a real adventure. 

The performance I wish I had done: gather some friends, 
dress up like giraffe, leopard, and antelope and go on a night
safari through the wealthiest neighbourhood in your city. 
Each animal is equipped with a spray can and in-line skates, 
to cover those big, shiny, black SUVs in mud
and quickly disappear into the night. 


two anecdotes
1.
I have learned how to do nothing over the last years
- a friend told me -
for example, sometimes I only read headlines.

2.
One of my happiest birthday memories is
when I was in primary school
I got as presents
-  violet/black roller skates
- a package of raisins
- and a glass of mustard pickles.